You might be a writer if…

1. You have to explain your search history–a.k.a reassuring your concerned mother after she borrowed your computer that you do not plan to commit murder. In real life, at least. The writing society is much more lax. On occasion, most fiction writers must research the effects of [insert weapon] on a human and the timeframe until death, along with such small details as "deadly herbs", "the best stabbing blade", and "how to cover up a crime scene". Do not worry–our insanity never reaches beyond the page.

2. You almost (always) shed tears when killing off a favorite character. Or at least experience great loss. Sacrifice is necessary. But when you kiss the character that you have so carefully crafted goodbye, you are losing potential scenes. A potential story. A potential life. You are ending the sarcastic remarks or stupid antics or whatever makes your character unique and irreplaceable. But if your story requires his/her death (if you're just trying to stir up unneeded emotions, shame on you!), a well-crafted character's demise will make your readers love and hate everything about you. You just may suffer for a while.

3. There’s nothing worse than reading a novel populated by steamrolled characters, cliché everything, and overambitious adjectives. Nothing, nothing compares to the disappointment when you throw a book aside with only a single phrase written on your notepad: Don’t do anything this book just did. It’s not merely that the novel bored you to distraction. Writers read to learn, and when a book falls short of the mediocre, you are tempted to demand a full refund for the two wasted hours that yielded no useful knowledge. Too bad time is fixed.

4. You have myriads of secret Pinterest boards outlining details for books that you plan to write in the far future. I plead guilty. I pin appealing pictures, inspirational quotes, future characters, and practical advice like I pick strawberries–not a single one left behind to sit alone on the plant…or in the Pinterest universe. If you can get it all NOW, why not? But these fresh ideas can carry you away before you finish a current project. Heed this warning: both delectable pins and juicy strawberries can become very distracting and then sour over time.

5. Social engagements are a no-no if you haven’t hit your daily word count. “Sorry, besties. Ya’ll mean a lot, but my baby’s starving over here. She needs 2,000 more words before I can leave the confines of my desk.” Sound familiar? While writers do need space to develop ideas and plan outside structure, a little daily discipline ensures that you take those ideas and DO something with them rather than just THINKING them. So let the friends go out without you. If they're good friends, they'll understand. If not…characters make excellent company.


If you can relate to these few quirks or have your own, comment below. What is that one writing eccentricity of yours that makes everyone shake their heads?